First plane trip

When Charlotte was just 7 weeks old, she had her first plane trip. B's cousin was getting married in Cairns and we made the trip up there to see him get married (it was my first time in Cairns). B, myself and B's dad travelled with Charlotte on the plane and I was really impressed with how easily she made the trip. She sucked her dummy through take-off and landing and showed no sign at all that she was in any way upset or bothered by the flight or what the altitude might being doing to her ears.

Here we are on the plane getting ready to take off...

The wedding was lovely and it gave us a chance to introduce Charlotte to a lot of B's mother's family. His aunts were there and were happy to fawn over Charlotte which was great to see. Unfortunately we don't have a picture of her all dressed up for the wedding, but she made it into the formal wedding photos so soon we'll have a memory of that day when J and S gives us a copy of the photo.

The Cairns trip meant that Charlotte had to sleep in a porta-cot for the first time (provided by the hotel). It was so cute to see her sleep in a 'big bed' (relatively speaking). It made us realise that we probably could take her out of the bassinet at home (thus returning the rental!) and we could start using our own porta-cot in our room. She didn't wake herself up nearly as much because she didn't have anything to bang her arms into like she did in the bassinet!

So from this point onwards, Charlotte started sleeping in the porta-cot. Eventually, when the weather gets nicer, we'll move her into her regular cot in her own room. I'm looking forward to that because the big cot has a proper inner-spring mattress which has to be better than porta-cot mattresses. We have a second foam mattress in the porta-cot but I think it's far too soft for her and when I pick her up each morning I see the indentation where her head has been resting through the night. I think a firmer mattress might actually allow her to sleep more comfortably. But the nursery gets far too cold overnight at the moment for her to be in there at this age, so we'll wait until spring to move her into there. It's the coolest room in summer which will be good, and then next year we'll invest in a good heater for her to use over winter.

We have two more plane trips coming up, a trip to Adelaide in November and then hopefully if I get my paper accepted, a trip to Chicago next July. That's going to be the big one that I'm not really looking forward to but if this trip to Cairns is anything to go on, she should take it all in her stride.

Two months old and still growing!

By the time Charlotte was two months old, she was pretty much completely in 000 clothes - the speed at which she was out-growing her clothes (and still does) completely amazed me. Babies grow fast!! I wish I really did listen to friends and paid more attention to what I read in books when I was told not to buy too much stuff early on because you'll just never use/wear it. How true that is! I have some really gorgeous outfits in Charlotte's closet that she has never, ever worn because she grew so quickly and simply could not wear that many clothes.

It's hard to know what to do with the old clothes. If I were younger or more 'committed' (?) to being a parent, I would probably say to myself "I'll put them aside for the next baby". But in this case, there isn't going to be another baby. But I can't bring myself to get rid of them because I feel they haven't been appreciated enough or looked at enough :-( I could sell them on ebay, but I probably wouldn't get enough for them to really justify the effort (or to reflect what I feel their true value is, in a more emotional way). So for now, the outgrown clothes have been vacuum packed into bags and stored in the wardrobe. Who knows, maybe Charlotte will play dress-up with her dolls one day?

At two months, Charlotte's smiles were becoming more frequent, but still rather random in nature. They weren't always related to something we'd said or done, but it was nice to get the recognition all the same ;-)

One thing I really noticed was how easily soothed Charlotte was by B's voice. Whether it was his tone or the fact that she didn't hear it as often as mine and therefore was more of a novelty, she would almost instantly behave better when she heard him speak. Of course, this meant that the 'devil child' I complained about to B as soon as he got home from work had all but disappeared for him when he started the 6pm feed. Who'd have thought my life would turn into that stereotype - being the harried, stuck-at-home Mum with a crying baby who complains about said baby to hubbie, only to have the bub start to behave perfectly as soon as hubbie walks through the door. That's a picture I really don't find amusing!

We were still having some feeding troubles at this point and at one point I wondered if she was mildly lactose intolerant. But I realised that if she were lactose intolerant, then she'd probably not be quite as settled as she was after her feed and would be quite distressed after each feed. She did show some occasional signs of distress, but certainly not after each feed. So once again, I had to just keep believing it would all get better in time and I should stop worrying and just enjoy my baby!

I had a visit with my friend J around this time who helped me do a feed. It was interesting to hear her say how 'tense' Charlotte felt after the feed, like she wasn't as settled and relaxed as I thought she was. After J pointed this out to me, I realised I had noticed this as well and wondered what I could do about it. Partly I think it was Charlotte 'feeding' off me and my stress with her regurgitation, but I think she might also not be taking her formula as well as I once thought she was. You really could feel her whole body was quite tense after her feed, as she tried to burp and process her food. So I made the decision to move from the cheaper Heinz formula to the more expensive Nan formula and see if this made a difference. In fact, I think it did. After that point, Charlotte regurgitated her food a little less and she seemed to lose some of the rigidity and tension I felt in her body after a feed. Whether it was just me becoming more relaxed or her actually taking the formula better, for what ever reason, I felt we were starting to get somewhere with her feeding problems.

Charlotte being comforted by J after her feed

Six weeks old

I have made things difficult for myself by going back and reliving things with these posts. If I was really smart, I would have been blogging as I went, but unfortunately the transition to becoming a new mum was far too over-whelming for me!

My memory of Charlotte at six weeks was of a baby who was very much starting to respond to her environment. While she didn't yet have the hand-eye coordination or strength to deliberately grab at things, she was certainly making a good attempt. Her play mat (below) become more fun for her as she was able to see the toys better. She also started to see the toys in her stroller better and made half-hearted attempts to grab at them (well, they looked half-hearted but I know that's not actually the case - she just didn't have the capacity to be full-hearted about it!)

She was definitely starting to smile at us, although her smiles weren't frequent or regular. Still, when they did occur, we knew they weren't just wind for a change!

I also remember this period being the time when I first noticed Charlotte starting to get more head control. I couldn't yet pick her up and have her hold her head high, but she needed less support from us while feeding and was able to look around for a few seconds before getting all wobbly. Sometimes, though, the power of the milk was just too strong and her head would need lots of support!... LOL

Unfortunately, Charlotte was still chucking up her food quite a lot at 6 weeks. We were assured that she would eventually grow strong enough muscles (internally) to stop this from happening, but I shed quite a few tears as I watched Charlotte bring up close to half of what she drank at each meal. There was no predicting when it would come up or on what, which made it even harder to cope with. But we were thankful that she was what the books referred to as "a happy chucker", meaning she didn't seem to experience any discomfort or pain. So she didn't have reflux, just "an immature sphincter". It was a nuisance and meant we went through lots of bibs, but other than that, she was feeding well. She was still putting on weight (lots of weight!) and certainly didn't appear to suffer as a result of the regurgitation, so we knew it was just a matter of time.

(As I write this now, some 8 weeks later, Charlotte has all but stopped regurgitating her food. And despite how upset I was about it at the time, I don't actually think I noticed when she stopped! It's funny how these things work...)

It was still over-whelming being a new parent with a 6 week-old baby, but things were slowly getting better and we were slowly starting to develop a routine. One thing I'll always be thankful for was that Charlotte was a good sleeper. While she didn't sleep through the whole night or anything like that, she went to bed at night without much fuss and slept a predictably solid 5-6 hours before needing another feed. So even with the chucking up, I still felt we were rather lucky and had a pretty fantastic baby :-)

One month in and we're slowly getting used to this!

After being home for a month, B had to go back to work. It was great that he was able to take so much time off, to get to know his daughter and to allow us to settle into a routine. It was also a great help to me because I wasn't allowed to drive initially. My obstetrician said it was up to me as to when I wanted to start driving again, but as I wasn't really allowed to do anything else either, I just let B do all the driving. I wasn't allowed to lift Charlotte in the car capsule or lift the pram, I couldn't really bend down easily, I couldn't put my arms up past shoulder height... so B had to do everything.

I'd asked Mum to come down for the first few weeks to do most of the 'grunt' work while B and I got used to being parents. That was a tremendous blessing for us to have her help. It wasn't always smooth sailing as B was trying so hard to do everything for me that sometimes he got upset when Mum did something instead of him. But I know he'd agree there was no way we would have managed without her there to help with the cooking and to generally be another set of hands when we needed it, and to offer much-needed emotional support to me. I very much under-estimated my emotional reactions to the whole parenting thing, probably made worse by having a c-section rather than a natural delivery. My body just suddenly stopped being pregnant and it was taking a little while for my hormones to settle down again. I cried at the drop of a hat, I was moody, I felt like a failure as a parent because I really felt I couldn't cope. No doubt it was extremely difficult to be around me, but somehow B and Mum (and Dad) managed it and we slowly settled into a routine.

Unfortunately our time was made harder by the fact that Charlotte was a chucky baby. She would regurgitate just about everything we fed her. Thankfully she was a happy chucker so she didn't really seem to be troubled by her regurgitation. This meant she probably didn't have reflux but it didn't make it any easier on us. I felt I couldn't really cuddle her without the risk of her bringing something up and the inconvenience of having to change her clothes or my clothes, or wipe down the furniture. But the fact that she took to formula and was generally a happy, peaceful baby was a real god-send. So I guess you have to take the good with the bad, eh?

At one point I tried her on a new formula for reflux and regurgitation - oh boy, that was a mistake! The formula was a thickened one, that went thicker in her stomach in an effort to stay in the stomach. But the only thing this did was constipate her and give her bad wind pains. So we went back to our old formula after 24 hours and realised that a happy chucky baby with wet clothes was easier and better than an upset, in pain constipated baby!

By this time (one month) we were starting to see that Charlotte had a little bit more head control. Nothing too exciting, but she was definitely starting to be able to lift her head up for longer periods and wasn't so 'bobble-headed' all the time. She was also starting slowly to pay more attention to her environment and started to really see some of the stuff around her. For example, it was around this time that she discovered the musical mobile that we had hanging up over her cot. We would lie her under that and wind it up and she'd be entertained for hours! (well, for the few minutes the winding up would last). She would kick her little legs up and down in glee and make all sorts of cute noises to show her appreciation and excitement.

Onwards we go, past the one month mark. I'd like to think we're slowly getting better at being parents, but I suspect other people probably think we're doing a better job of it than we think we are!

The first few days...

Charlotte's arrival was planned because she had an 'unstable lie' - apparently it's safer for Mum and bub to do a c-section. I'm sure there are some obstetricians who let you deliver naturally, or in the very least go into labour, but mine decided a c-section was going to be best. So I made my way into the hospital at dawn on the 19th with B by my side and nerves in my belly.

There is something really bizarre about knowing when your baby is going to arrive. I spent all of the night before petrified, thinking about the whole thing and what was going to happen the next day. I wasn't at all concerned about the operation itself, but about everything that came after that! The suddenness of going from being just the two of us (three if you count Lucy-Lou!) to having Charlotte in our lives and what that was going to involve was very overwhelming - needless to say, I didn't get much sleep the night before and unfortunately that was going to be the last time in a long while I would have the chance to get a full night of sleep!

B came with me to the operating theatre (that in itself felt weird - normally you say good bye to loved ones at a certain point but this time he came all the way!) I was 'parked' outside for a while as the anaesthetist had to do an emergency c-section but eventually we were in the operating theatre and things started happening.

Unfortunately I was carrying so much fluid that the anaesthetist had trouble finding the right spot to insert the needle into my spine and had to try a couple of times (!) but eventually she got going and suddenly everything started happening really quickly. I started to feel really nauseous and my blood pressure dropped a bit which felt horrid - the lack of sensation below my chest coupled with the lack of vision was really unnerving and contributed to my feeling of mild distress. But I was given some drugs to help bring up my blood pressure and stem the nausea and eventually I felt much better. Then the tugging and pushing started - now THAT's weird! To have your insides tugged and pulled like that, to be able to feel it but not really feel it... very strange! It's a bit like going to the dentist and having a tooth pulled - you don't feel the pain but you feel the pressure, you can hear what they're doing and have other sensations.

The anaesthetist's assistant took photos throughout the whole thing - I didn't realise until I looked at them exactly what was happening but it's a pretty cool thing! Eventually they said "here she is" and held her up over the screen for B and me to see. I couldn't believe it - literally, I could not believe it. The feeling was surreal - to see the baby that until just moments ago was wriggling around inside me. Both B and I had tears in our eyes.

The paediatrician and B took Charlotte over to another table and did their thing (cut the cord, attach the cord plug thingie, weigh and measure etc) and during that time I was cleaned up and stitched up.

Then B and Charlotte went back up to my room while I went to recovery for about 20 minutes. I was back in my room just after 9am and suddenly we were parents! B said the 20 or so minutes he was sitting in the hospital room alone with Charlotte was really strange - he didn't really know what to do except sit there and look at her (and wonder where I was and when I was coming back).

That first day and night was a bit of a blur - my Mum and Dad and B's Dad came in and held their new granddaughter and I dozed on and off.

I didn't get movement back in my legs until later that afternoon/early evening so I was pretty much stuck on the bed and couldn't even move myself up or down really. B sat with me the whole day and didn't leave the hospital until 10.30pm. It was horrible saying goodbye to him - I really wanted him to stay, but the chairs were very uncomfortable and he'd get more sleep at home in our own bed.

Because I had a c-section, Charlotte was taken away from me in the night and put in the nursery to allow me to get some sleep. I was amazed that, even on that first night, I kept waking up every few hours wondering where she was. It was like my body had already been programmed to expect her to be there and when I woke up and saw that she wasn't there, I had a moment of panic and then remembered where she was. The mid-wives brought her in to me for a feed around 1am but otherwise I didn't see her until 6am!

The next day I was up and about after my drip was removed, around 8am. I very tentatively had a shower and started packing my belongings. I was being moved to a bigger room with a queen size bed so that B could stay with me in the evenings. Once settled in the new room, I was immediately more comfortable and it felt good to spend the day just learning about our new baby and relaxing into parenthood with B at my side. We learnt about bathing her, I had a visit with a lactation consultant, I did some physiotherapy exercises, slowly started moving around from the bed to the bathroom etc. I wasn't in much pain, just feeling stiff and a bit sore in my stomach muscles. I was expecting to be in quite a bit of pain so to feel almost nothing afterwards was a pleasant surprise.

Our second night was also spent with Charlotte in the nursery - again, to give me rest. This time however they asked if I gave permission for her to have a supplementary feed of formula which we said was OK. We thought she'd come back in at some point during the night, but they kept her all night!! In the morning I found myself actually pleased to see her rolled back in to our room.

Unfortunately, having those first two nights away from Charlotte proved tricky because on night 3 we had our first night with her in our room full-time and she was horrid! She cried and cried and didn't settle after feeds and I was at the end of my tether. I eventually called in a midwife around 4.30am and she said she was probably hungry and I should give her some formula. She managed to get Charlotte to calm down and we were able to get some sleep. I knew then I was going to miss having that magic red call button by my bedside when we eventually went back home!

You might be wondering why there was so many offers of formula for Charlotte. Yes, I was breastfeeding but by day 2 my nipples were bleeding and cracked due to improper latching in those early hours following my c-section when I was too druggie and overwhelmed to really focus on if I was doing things correctly. This was also coupled with the impact that my breast reduction surgery had on my milk production - my breasts never swelled up, I never felt that 'hot' feeling that women talk about when their milk comes in, I ended up wearing the same bras I had before I got pregnant. So unfortunately, being able to breastfeed Charlotte 100% was going to be really difficult, and in order to ensure she had enough sustenance she was given a little bit of formula during those early days when my early milk would have otherwise been sustaining her.

At that point I didn't really mind - I just wanted her to feel full and comfortable. But the impact of this on me was felt much later, when I made the decision after 3 weeks to stop breastfeeding altogether. My nipples still hadn't healed and I was in constant pain, even when she wasn't on the breast. I was expressing in between each feed, trying to stimulate more milk production, but getting very little milk from my efforts. I was becoming stressed and more tired and I cringed whenever Charlotte went anywhere near my breasts. For our own sanity, we decided to stop the struggle and just do 100% formula by the time she was 3 weeks old.

I didn't realise then how much this would impact me emotionally. I felt like a complete failure and was really very depressed about not being able to breastfeed. I didn't think I would feel this way. After all, I knew there was a chance I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed, but it wasn't until after I stopped feeding her that I realised just how badly I wanted to do it. After my breasts healed, about 10 days after I made the decision to stop, I noticed a small droplet of milk on my nipple after a shower. So I put Charlotte on the breast to see if she'd still take it - she did, but I don't think she got very much milk and eventually she stopped sucking. But my gosh - the difference in how that felt compared to those early weeks was incredible. It felt fantastic - I wasn't in any pain, it felt natural to have her on my breast and I was really upset that I had given up so quickly. I know from a rational perspective that I really couldn't have done more than I did, that I couldn't reverse the effects of my surgery so I'd never produce enough milk for her. But to feel what it was 'supposed' to feel like to feed without pain and to just sit and enjoy your baby...... a small part of me will never forgive myself for not persevering for longer.

We went home after 5 days - on the Saturday before Easter Sunday. Wow - what a scary thing that was. For the previous 5 days we weren't allowed to leave the ward with Charlotte and my vitals were constantly being monitored and recorded etc. Then suddenly they say "off you go" and you're on your own. Buckling her into that car capsule and driving off (B did the driving) was extremely anxiety-provoking and I'll never forget how tentatively B drove that day!

Our new life as parents had begun and we were now on our own. As I sit here and write this, some 9 weeks later, I realise how 'green' we were, and how I wish I knew then what I know now! We had a very sharp learning curve ahead of us.

The weekend from hell...

This weekend has not been kind to us. Charlotte had her 2 month immunisation shots on Friday afternoon and she coped with the injections so well we were lulled into a false sense of security, believing all would be well. Turns out, these things can take a while to fester!

B was out all day Saturday helping a friend move house and I should have known something wasn't right when Charlotte didn't go back to sleep after her early morning feed. She progressively got grumpier and grumpier throughout the day, barely sleeping for more than 2-3 minutes at a go, until she was completely over-wraught by dinner time. B came home for a short while before going out fishing most of the night (I've learned my lesson - don't let your husband be gone all day when your daughter is in a mood!! LOL) Anyway, by the time B came home I was beside myself - I'd called my Mum and called my best friend and had no idea how to soothe her. I'd taken her for a walk and rocked her in the pram; I'd put her in the swing; I'd worn her in the sling; I'd fed her; I'd burped her; I'd changed her nappy. I simply could not stop her from screaming. It was the most horrible experience I think I've had as a parent - feeling completely helpless and watching someone so young and defenseless experience so much distress.

When B came home we jumped in the car and took Charlotte for a drive. I hadn't had time to eat anything all day (or even feed the dog!) so we went to McDonalds for a quick fix and then took off for an hour or so driving around near the water, hoping the driving would soothe Charlotte. Thankfully it did! By the time we got home, around 11pm, my eyelids were barely open and Charlotte's were well and truly closed. We transferred her from the car capsule to the cot and she slept soundly for the rest of the night. In fact, she didn't wake up again until 5.30am! All these weeks I've been praying she'd sleep through her 2am feed and when she finally does, it's at the expense of my sanity... be careful what you wish for!

This morning she's still a bit crotchety but definitely more settled than yesterday. I think part of her problem is actually related to bloating and not being able to manage her formula properly. She seems to get very uncomfortable after a feed and doesn't pass wind/bowel movements easily. So this on top of the general aches and pains from the immunisations, we were bound for problems. I've started putting some Coloxyl drops in her bottle now to try and clear up any 'blockages' she might have and get things moving again. She doesn't actually seem constipated, but there is definitely something not quite right with her insides. Here's hoping we finish the weekend on a better note!

(After writing this post we went out to dinner at Sizzler and Charlotte slept through the whole thing! We're planning a late night hot bath and feed around 10.30pm and hopefully she'll be so buggered after the weekend that she'll sleep right through!)

Introducing... Charlotte Maudie Hazelwood

I can't believe how long it has been since my last blog post, although in my defence quite a lot has happened since then! Charlotte Maudie Hazelwood entered the world by c-section at 8.35am on Tuesday, 19 April, weighing a rather healthy 3870g and measuring 52cm in length. That was 8 weeks ago now and this is the first chance I've had to sit and write about it!

I am clearly not going to be able to recap on the past 2 months in a single blog post so I won't even try but over the coming days I hope to catch people up on my experiences since the birth and in the future I plan to use this blog as a weekly record of Charlotte's development. It will be a good way for me to record when milestones are achieved and the ups and downs of parenthood as we go through it all!

Bums and heads...

As I look at the countdown timer on this page and see that I apparently have only 24 days left until I'm due (eeks!) I think I would be forgiven for starting to think about the actual labour and delivery that I'm going to be put through. I hadn't really thought much about the actual day before now but the past few weeks have seen me make some rather big changes in my plans, and now I've actually come full circle.

I started out wanting to have an elective c-section. I wasn't particularly afraid of labour or pain, but I didn't really want my baby's head coming out looking like a squashed watermelon and and was definitely not in favour of suction or forceps coming anywhere near such a delicate piece of human anatomy (mine or hers!) There are other more trivial, private reasons for my c-section preference which I will spare you from, but suffice to say I was pretty sure that's what I wanted. Then I started talking to people.

I realise when you're pregnant that everyone has an opinion and they don't seem to mind sharing it with you, regardless of whether you ask for it or not. But I was actually quite keen to hear from people about their thoughts on the matter of c-section versus natural birth. And boy did I hear some competing opinions! I received everything from earth-mother type advice that said natural birth is the most glorious, beautiful thing you'll ever go through to the extreme opposite still-traumatised new mother who said it was truly the most horrible thing she has ever experienced. So I talked to my midwife and she gave me the medical facts about how much harder it is to recover after a c-section and the limitations that tend to be in place following such a large surgical procedure. And I guess that's the point - even though it's something that is done many thousands of times each day, it is still surgery and it's quite invasive. There are a number of layers of muscle and tissue that need to be cut and post-operative recouperation can be difficult and requires you have someone around to help you, at least for the first few weeks.

So I was back to square one.

Eventually, after some thought and discussion with B, I decided to go the natural route. I didn't want to be inconvenienced by delayed recovery post-operatively and wanted to 'bounce back' as quickly as possible so that I didn't have to take energy away from the baby or have things be harder than they no doubt already will be. After attending our ante-natal classes and being given the lo-down on the pain relief that was available, I even became convinced that I wasn't going to have an epidural! Now that's progress. I didn't really want to be stuck in a bed for 12 hours after the birth with a catheter and no mobility. That just didn't sound like the 'easy' way of doing things.

But things changed today.

For the past few 6 weeks or so, B and I have been feeling the various lumps and bumps in my stomach and guessing at which body part is which. This has been helped along by the obstetrician who just last week patted the protruding lump towards the top of my uterus (i.e. just underneath my breasts) and said that was Sprout's bottom. He told me the head didn't feel like it had engaged at all and that they'll be keeping an eye on that because it might signal cause for c-section if it still hadn't engaged in a few weeks. But we continued along as normal, patting our baby on the 'bum' and watching her move around energetically (typically after I've had chocolate or a drink of Diet Coke!)

So you can imagine my surprise when the midwife today said "I don't think that's a bum". She started up the scanning equipment and sure enough, what we have affectionately been patting all this time was actually Sprout's head! She called the obstetrician in, who confirmed what he saw on the scan, and suddenly my situation was quite different to what it had been a few minutes earlier when I first walked in the room. Sprout was in complete breech position with her head very clearly sitting up under my breasts and her bottom down towards my cervix.

It is rare for bubs in first-time mums to completely turn around because the uterus lacks the flexibility of those that have 'been there before' so to speak. So both the midwife and the obstetrician felt it was pretty much impossible for me to expect Sprout to right herself in the coming weeks. There is an external manipulation they can perform to attempt to turn the baby, but it can be quite painful and has risks (e.g. cord prolapse) so it isn't really done that much apparently. This means it's almost definitely a c-section for me. I'm booked in for 19 April.

How strange to come full circle like this. Initially I WANTED the c-section, but I have to say my first thought when I was told it was almost definitely going to happen was "crap!" I really had gotten used to the idea of a natural birth and was very much in favour of the faster recovery time afterwards. I didn't realise just how scared of the c-section surgery I was until today when I booked in for it to actually happen to me! I had a small meltdown in my car afterwards, but then I picked myself back up and moved on with my day (which included a surprise early homecoming from my husband who decided he should come home to be with me for the afternoon *swoon*)

I've had time to process the news now and am more comfortable with the likelihood that I'm going to be a little more fragile post-birth than I had originally planned. No doubt it will test my capacity (or lack thereof) to ask for help and will force me to be a little less independent! But now my main concern is whether I've been poking my baby in the eye all these weeks instead of giving her comforting rubs on the bum! No wonder she pokes and kicks me whenever I do that - she's probably asking me to take my finger out of her ear!

Baby shower happenings...

The gang - except Mum, who was taking the photo

You know you're close to D-Day when the time comes for you to have your baby shower (if you're electing to go down that road). I hadn't originally wanted a baby shower - I didn't really see the point in them and I wasn't too keen on guilting my friends into buying me yet more gifts after many of the same people had already attended a bridal shower and wedding in the years preceding this event. But K was quite adamant that I have one and by the time I had finished my holiday in Tassie (i.e. staying with her), she had convinced me. So I asked my sister-in-law, T,  if she would be willing to organise the event, and thankfully she said yes. Thus, the weekend before last saw me attend my baby shower!

It was a lovely afternoon. T consulted with me about where to hold the event and I was determined the afternoon was going to be about us girls getting together for some laughs and good food and not about silly games and over-the-top gift-giving. We held the shower at 16th on Park, which has a delicious tapas menu and an equally delicious dessert menu! I decided that as it was my shower, I was allowed to have some tapas AND some dessert, and thankfully I wasn't the only one who made that decision ;-)

T took care of everything and abided by my wishes to not have any silly games. Instead she asked everyone to write advice or helpful sayings about motherhood on decorative paper and she was going to make a book for me with all the words of wisdom included.

I was very touched and just a little bit guilty that everyone wanted to give gifts. As a result we now have a lovely collection of gorgeous baby clothes and toys (and some nursing pyjamas for me from Mum!). T and my brother also put together a great hospital survival kit for me and B that comes complete with Junior Mints, Reeces Pieces and a giant Tootsie Roll. If you don't know what those things are then clearly you're not a member of our family! ;-)

Hippos were clearly a theme (gee, I wonder why?) and I was delighted to receive a number of hippo-related clothes or toys. I do wonder if this baby is going to like hippos as much as I do - another 'nature versus nurture' debate, I'm sure ;-) In any event, she will most certainly be surrounded by them in her early years so she'll either love them or hate them! Thankfully there wasn't much pink in attendance - you all no doubt know how I feel about that colour!! I think the best clothing item of the day was from M who found a purple tutu complete with black leggings underneath. I'm not particulary tutu-ish generally but M was able to see that I would appreciate the paradox of the leggings with the fru-fru look - I actually really love it.

Purple tutus with black leggings - not typically something I thought I would like!

We took some photos on the day - they clearly show that I'm pregnant! I was about 35 and 1/2 weeks pregnant in these shots and feeling every week of it! Jane took a great shot of me side on so that I can have a record of my belly - I don't really have many shots of me fully pregnant so it will make a good retaliatory photo for my daughter one day when she accuses me, out of spite, of adopting her!

A very pregnant me - not particularly flattering, but at least it's proof I was actually pregnant!

So with the shower now done, there is nothing left to do but wait for the impending arrival. I can't wait to dress this little creature in all the lovely clothes I received... including the purple tutu ;-)

Mother and daughter (times 2, when you think about it!)

Overwhelmed with everyone's generosity...

Unwrapping a hippo... of course!

Seeing is believing...

I think I have passed some sort of turning point in this pregnancy. Not a physical one as such but more of a mental one. I believe I might actually be having to come to terms with the fact that I'm about to become... a mother! Aaahh, no, scratch that... actually I'm not quite ready to go that far. However, I have finally started to set up The Nursery, which is a pretty big step really. Up until now, The Nursery has actually just been "the spare room that the baby will be sleeping in". But on Monday, for some reason, I referred to that room as The Nursery and now it seems to be getting a little easier to roll off the tongue.

It's not that I haven't had stuff to go in The Nursery - I've had plenty of things ready to be taken out of their packaging and put to good use. But until now, everything we've bought has just ended up being dumped in 'the spare room' and the room hasn't really resembled anything nursery-ish. But that changed yesterday. During the week B finished painting the walls in The Nursery (I'm about to start the wardrobe doors as soon as I finish this post...). At that point, I had no more excuses and realised it was making me MORE anxious to NOT have it set up than it was to think about setting it up. Thus, aforementioned turning point reached.

So yesterday we went out and bought a few more of the things that were on my list that I felt were going to help me come to terms with this Nursery concept and then B went out fishing while I officially started... nesting... setting things up. Here is the semi-finished product.

 

 

This chest of drawers was purchased second hand and was originally a varnished pine. But I sanded it back and painted it white to be more suited to the room. I then set about trying to find some funky new drawer handles but had no luck so I decided to make them myself. What do you think?

Those of you who know me probably know two main things about me (a) I am infatuated with hippos and (b) I can't stand the colour pink and prefer purple. You can therefore imagine my confusion and distress when B pointed out a very soft and adorable cuddle blanket in the shops yesterday that was pink with a purple hippo on it. In the few seconds of confusion that temporarily overtook my decision-making capabilities, B seized the moment and officially picked up the blanket and added it to our shopping pile.

In this picture, you can see Lilly, Fat Boy, Hilda and the new blanket, set up on the cot waiting for a new friend to play with.

I have also recently discovered the joys of Lamaze toys - which seem to be a sort of educational baby toy that wriggles or rattles or crinkles. They're in bright colours and usually have about 3 or 4 features that are designed to keep baby occupied.

We also have the Rolls Royce of strollers that we purchased  on ebay - our Baby Jogger City Elite. One of the things that we wanted was a sheepskin to go in the stroller which we bought yesterday. It's not really big enough to use as a sheepskin for baby to have on the floor etc., but it's perfect for the stroller as it comes with pre-cut slots for the harness straps etc. So now our stroller looks far more welcoming and ready to receive its new passenger.

The final thing we have purchased isn't actually located in The Nursery - at the moment it's in our spare room, and by that I mean the actual spare room, not the-room-that-will-one-day-become-the-nursery-but-for-now-it's-less-threatening-to-call-it-the-spare-room.

 What I'm referring to is the bassinet - also purchased off ebay. Eventually this will live in our bedroom but for the time being, it lives in the room that Mum uses when she and Dad come to stay. So there you are Mum - you can fall asleep with a visual reminder that you're about to become a Granma ;-)









And one last picture to show you. This blog post is called "Seeing is believing" and I've called it that because I think that seeing the semi-finished nursery has helped me really start to believe what is about to happen to B and me (I know, the constant kicks and pokes I get from within also help, but I'm talking emotionally more than physically). In any event, this afternoon I decided to wash all the lovely baby clothes that friends had donated or that I had purchased over the past few weeks. Talk about seeing is believing...

Good fluids and bad fluids...

There's no doubting the fact any longer... I am officially pregnant. I know, I know - I've actually been officially pregnant for some time. But to me, the hallmark of a 'pregnant woman' is fluid build up, and boy have I got that box ticked. In spades.

For example, until this point in life, I've always been rather pleased with my feet - they were the one part of my body that I couldn't really find any fault with. They were thin, on the small size, and with the right sized toe-to-foot ratio (if there is such a thing!).

Now I have hobbit feet.

Ok, so my feet aren't quite as hairy as a hobbit's, but there is clearly nothing human about these feet. They are fat, bloated and look unbalanced - the toes look way too small for the lumpy and blown up feet attached to them.

Bloated, swollen feet :-(

I should be thankful they don't yet hurt, although I'm told that may happen. But they do tingle and feel mildly uncomfortable - kind of like when you recover from an attack of pins and needles. And I only have one pair of shoes that fit me comfortably... and I can't walk around in thongs all the time!

My fingers are also swollen, although not to the same extent as my feet. I can no longer wear my wedding or engagement rings, which depresses me as I had hoped I wouldn't get to that stage. But when the skin underneath my rings started to flake away due to the stress of having the rings rub up against it... well, even I'm not THAT stubborn.

So, I'm having to face the harsh truth and come to terms with the fact that I'm a swollen and bloated pregnant woman. The next person who tells me pregnancy is a beautiful, moving experience to be savoured can come to my house and give me foot massages until their skin is rubbed raw - why should I be the only one to suffer?

But I called this post good AND bad fluids, so I guess I should talk about something a little more positive as well. Today B and I (and Mum and Dad) were able to see the work of all the good fluids that are currently circulating around my swollen, bloated pregnant body. That is, we had another scan :-) (the scan machine relies on fluid in the womb/gestational sac to give you a clear picture; the less fluid, the harder it is to get a good photo).

Oh boy - have things changed over the past 10 weeks! Our last scan, at 19 weeks, showed a much different picture to this one. This time, Sprout has grown and now weighs an estimated 3 pounds and 6 ounces. They couldn't give me a length, but she's on par with other sprouts her age according to the measurements. Her face is much more well-formed and even though the umbilical cord was in the way of a clear facial shot, you can certainly see her features...

These photos still look a little alien-like because of the way the ultrasound creates the image, but you can definitely see a little baby face there. Eyes closed (how freaky would it be if they were open!! - that can happen apparently). We saw little tiny feet pressing up against the outside of the womb and the sonographer felt her kick out to show her displeasure at having her slumber interrupted. It was way cool :-)

Even better was the fact that we received the news that my placenta was no longer low-lying. So this means I don't have to fear weeks of bed rest and an involuntary c-section under somewhat scary circumstances (i.e. the threat of placenta previa). At 19 weeks it was less than 1cm away from the opening of my cervix apparently but now it's well and truly high and not likely to cause any problems *sigh of relief*

So now we can get on with preparing for Sprout's arrival. The cot has arrived, the change table has been purchased and should be delivered in the next few days, and we're slowly amassing more hippopotamus toys ;-) There's still a LOT left to do, but Mum has come down to help me plough through the long list and hopefully the next post I put up will have me rejoicing the fact that the nursery is starting to take shape.

For now, I shall continue to mourn my lost feet and find creative ways to encourage my husband to massage them... ;-)

Time to think nursery furniture...

There's no more ignoring the fact that it's time to start thinking about the nursery. I've put it off long enough and now I think I have the ego strength to cope with the stress of this undertaking! But boy oh boy, is there a lot to think about!

First up - the cot. Thankfully a colleague from work is giving me her old cot. Her children are well and truly grown now, so I know it won't be in pristine condition, but she's happy for me to do with it whatever I like, so I'm thinking a quick sand and a slosh of white paint and it will be as good as new. Apparently it's an American cot, purchased while they were living over there, which means it is larger than the standard cots here in Australia. I've seen an old photo of it and it seems quite nice - will post photos when it's set up. We collect the cot with mattress and one set of sheets this weekend so that's one thing to cross off the list.

Next up is a bassinet. We plan to have bub sleep in our room in a bassinet at night but in her cot during the day (until she outgrows the bassinet, then it's full-time cot). I'm quite taken with this style of bassinet... I think it's really pretty - soft and delicate. And I like the skirt going all the way to the ground. I'm counting on Mum to make me some sheets (for both cot and bassinet) and a skirt if I need one... hint, hint! I'm also keeping my eye on ebay to see if anything I like comes up, but in fact there are a few sales around at the moment and I found something at Target that actually isn't that expensive, so we might just end up buying the bassinet new.

So, that's the sleeping arrangements taken care of (forgetting the endless supply of sheets, the lambswool sheepskin, musical mobiles, nightlights, and blankets/swaddle cloths...). Next up comes transport, specifically car seats/capsules. After seeking advice from people who are far more knowledgeable than I when it comes to things like this, we've pretty much decided to start off with a rented capsule from Queensland Ambulance, something like the picture I've included here.

Now doesn't that just look like it would be incredibly comfortable? (although I suspect the rental ones won't be quite as good looking as this one). Rental is a good option because it's only about $70 for 6 months and you can then move from the capsule into a car seat at 6 months that will probaby last the baby for the next 5-6 years. The other advantage of capsules is that you don't have to wake the baby up to take her in and out of the car, which sounds like a good thing to me! You can get additional bases for the capsules so that I can easily swap the capsule from my car to Brandon's - my understanding is that the capsule disconnects from of a base unit that stays behind in the car. Nice and easy (yeah, famous last words, eh?)

Apparently one also needs to consider where you're going to change baby's nappies - quite an important consideration really when you consider the potential impact of NOT considering nappy changes! LOL I'm quite keen on white furniture to keep the lines clean and neutral, so I'm thinking a white 3-tier change table is the way to go. I have learnt (over the past 48 hours) that Boori furniture is very good, albeit very expensive. Another thing to add to my ebay watch list ;-)

When you have as much distance between your nursery and your main living area as we do (over 20 metres) a baby monitor is also a good idea (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about?) We are particularly fond of the Angelcare Sound and Motion monitor because it senses sound and movement (breathing). Our friends have this monitor and swear it's great.

We also need a white chest of drawers for all of the clothes that our little girl will no doubt end up with, as well as a porta-cot for later when we start to take her out and want to have somewhere for her to sleep in the evening (when she's too big for the capsule). And no doubt there will be countless other things we'll need to think about - clothes, diapers, pacifiers, blankets, a high chair, a swing or bouncer, bottles... the list is endless!

Thankfully I have had my phobias about walking down the baby aisle in the supermarket part-way cured as a result of a recent visit with my best friend, K. As a parent herself, I knew if there was anyone who could help cure me of my anxieties, it was her. So off I flew to sunny Tasmania (literally) and within a week I was armed with all the information I could possibly need about nappy rash, nursing pads and breast pumps (that's a whole separate blog entry!)

For now, I'm content with looking online and slowly arming myself with more information. But I can't wait much longer - I only have 11 weeks until I'm due (crikey!) and that's assuming I go full term. I really want to get things set up sooner rather than later so that I'm not panicking closer to the day. So I guess I'm going to have to actually buy something in the next few days... once I make the first purchase, I'm sure the rest will follow without too much pain... and let's not even get on to the topic of nursery decor - I've only just finished renovating the kitchen and I'm already tired thinking I might end up wanting to paint a whole other room!

Welcome to 2011 - the year of Sprout

I'm officially declaring myself a slack blogger. It has been quite some time since I last blogged, but I guess given that this blog is about pregnancy, and as I'm not really experiencing anything dramatic on a day-to-day basis, I guess I can be forgiven for not posting more frequently.

It's good that I'm not experiencing anything dramatic - I never really knew there were so many horrible things out there that can happen to unborn babies. I thought all the bad stuff happened after birth! Thankfully all is going well with me, but I can't help but think now and then about the unlucky few...

We've had a big Christmas - completely renovating our kitchen and family room. And as someone said to me recently, "... and you're busy making a family to put in that family room!" As I'll be home for a good part of this year, I really wanted a kitchen/family room that I didn't mind spending lots of time in, and now I have it :-) There are still a few little things that need fixing up here and there, but on the whole things are finished. The house has also been spring cleaned (summer cleaned?) and things are looking and smelling lovely in Casa Hippo. I even cleaned the carpets!

Next up on the plans is the nursery. My mother is going to help with that one - sewing curtains and bedding etc. B and I have yet to pick the colours but I'm leaning towards white walls with lilac and buttercup yellow 'trim' and accessories. I'm not typically a fan of yellow, but I don't mind it as a baby accessory. February is the month for preparing the nursery!

B and I ventured into our first baby store over the Christmas break. It was a little intimidating but we did manage to test drive a few strollers. I can't brag that we completed the test drive without crashing in to anything unfortunately, but it was an eye-opener to see (a) how much room those things take up on an average path! and (b) how expensive they are! But I think we managed to identify the one we want - B likes the 'Elite' model whereas I prefer the 'City Mini' model. City Mini is a little smaller and the rear wheels don't spread out quite as far, so I think it will be easier to navigate in shops etc. B's cousin uses this City Mini stroller and says it's fantastic.

So we've got the stroller sorted (sort of) - next up is... everything else! We've been offered a cot from a work colleague, which crosses that off the list, but there is still so much more baby 'stuff' out there! I'm sure much of it is really unnecessary, but how does one who is slightly naive to it all actually decide what is needed and what isn't? Well, in my case, you hop on a plane to Tasmania to spend a week with your bestest friend (and, importantly, the parent of a toddler) and let them educate you as to what to expect and what you'll need to bother with! I'm very much looking forward to catching up with friends and family while I'm down there - only 5 more sleeps now. And hopefully I'll come back full of baby wisdom and far more clear-headed on what I really need to bother buying!

I had my first midwife appointment in the week between Christmas and New Year. We had a very interesting talk about c-section versus natural delivery, and I have to say I'm now leaning towards natural delivery (whereas once I was in favour of a planned c-section). Obviously time will tell - I have a low-lying placenta which will require a follow-up scan in a few weeks, so it's possible the decision will be taken away from me. But natural delivery is probably going to be my preference - but don't bother offering me a mirror, OK?

Getting kicked from the inside out is another new experience I'm having to live with. It's not particularly unpleasant, just odd. I find it comforting - I start to panic if I get to a certain point in the day and realise I haven't really felt any kicks (refer to above discussion about dramatic things and unborn babies!). At first B wasn't able to feel anything as the kicks (or punches?) were too light. But now he can rest his hand on my belly and when a particularly large kick comes along, he can certainly feel it! I'm also very much looking pregnant now (I'm 25 weeks). The good thing about my expanding waistline is that I actually LOOK pregnant, rather than just overweight. I'm remarkably more at ease with my body now as a pregnant woman compared to before I was pregnant - how fascinating. It's like I needed an excuse to be proud of my fat!

Speaking of fat, I have finally started to weigh more than before I got pregnant. Not much - only about 3-4kg - but enough now that I can no longer say "I haven't put any weight on". For the first 20-odd weeks I must have been losing weight because the scales didn't report any weight gain, even though I was slowly expanding. Now I'm starting to gain weight, but I'm also going to try to minimise that so that I don't end up too huge. So it's more walking and more vegetables for me! I'm also slowly starting to feel more 'fluidy' which isn't pleasant. My feet are a little swollen and I'm unable to wear one of my favourite pairs of slip-on shoes as a result. My rings are quite tight also and only come off with a healthy lather of soap (except at certain points when the air is cooler - summer mugginess makes it worse). Hopefully, if I pick up my exercise, I can also limit the amount of fluid I have to carry around as that really is not pleasant. If you have any hints for getting rid of fluid build up, please feel free to pass them along!

For now, I'm plodding along week by week and gradually starting to look and feel more pregnant. The next challenge will be starting to actually 'nest' and creating the little space that our Miss Sprout will inhabit once she has come out into the world... I'm looking forward to meeting her after all the kicks and pokes she has given me!