Bums and heads...

As I look at the countdown timer on this page and see that I apparently have only 24 days left until I'm due (eeks!) I think I would be forgiven for starting to think about the actual labour and delivery that I'm going to be put through. I hadn't really thought much about the actual day before now but the past few weeks have seen me make some rather big changes in my plans, and now I've actually come full circle.

I started out wanting to have an elective c-section. I wasn't particularly afraid of labour or pain, but I didn't really want my baby's head coming out looking like a squashed watermelon and and was definitely not in favour of suction or forceps coming anywhere near such a delicate piece of human anatomy (mine or hers!) There are other more trivial, private reasons for my c-section preference which I will spare you from, but suffice to say I was pretty sure that's what I wanted. Then I started talking to people.

I realise when you're pregnant that everyone has an opinion and they don't seem to mind sharing it with you, regardless of whether you ask for it or not. But I was actually quite keen to hear from people about their thoughts on the matter of c-section versus natural birth. And boy did I hear some competing opinions! I received everything from earth-mother type advice that said natural birth is the most glorious, beautiful thing you'll ever go through to the extreme opposite still-traumatised new mother who said it was truly the most horrible thing she has ever experienced. So I talked to my midwife and she gave me the medical facts about how much harder it is to recover after a c-section and the limitations that tend to be in place following such a large surgical procedure. And I guess that's the point - even though it's something that is done many thousands of times each day, it is still surgery and it's quite invasive. There are a number of layers of muscle and tissue that need to be cut and post-operative recouperation can be difficult and requires you have someone around to help you, at least for the first few weeks.

So I was back to square one.

Eventually, after some thought and discussion with B, I decided to go the natural route. I didn't want to be inconvenienced by delayed recovery post-operatively and wanted to 'bounce back' as quickly as possible so that I didn't have to take energy away from the baby or have things be harder than they no doubt already will be. After attending our ante-natal classes and being given the lo-down on the pain relief that was available, I even became convinced that I wasn't going to have an epidural! Now that's progress. I didn't really want to be stuck in a bed for 12 hours after the birth with a catheter and no mobility. That just didn't sound like the 'easy' way of doing things.

But things changed today.

For the past few 6 weeks or so, B and I have been feeling the various lumps and bumps in my stomach and guessing at which body part is which. This has been helped along by the obstetrician who just last week patted the protruding lump towards the top of my uterus (i.e. just underneath my breasts) and said that was Sprout's bottom. He told me the head didn't feel like it had engaged at all and that they'll be keeping an eye on that because it might signal cause for c-section if it still hadn't engaged in a few weeks. But we continued along as normal, patting our baby on the 'bum' and watching her move around energetically (typically after I've had chocolate or a drink of Diet Coke!)

So you can imagine my surprise when the midwife today said "I don't think that's a bum". She started up the scanning equipment and sure enough, what we have affectionately been patting all this time was actually Sprout's head! She called the obstetrician in, who confirmed what he saw on the scan, and suddenly my situation was quite different to what it had been a few minutes earlier when I first walked in the room. Sprout was in complete breech position with her head very clearly sitting up under my breasts and her bottom down towards my cervix.

It is rare for bubs in first-time mums to completely turn around because the uterus lacks the flexibility of those that have 'been there before' so to speak. So both the midwife and the obstetrician felt it was pretty much impossible for me to expect Sprout to right herself in the coming weeks. There is an external manipulation they can perform to attempt to turn the baby, but it can be quite painful and has risks (e.g. cord prolapse) so it isn't really done that much apparently. This means it's almost definitely a c-section for me. I'm booked in for 19 April.

How strange to come full circle like this. Initially I WANTED the c-section, but I have to say my first thought when I was told it was almost definitely going to happen was "crap!" I really had gotten used to the idea of a natural birth and was very much in favour of the faster recovery time afterwards. I didn't realise just how scared of the c-section surgery I was until today when I booked in for it to actually happen to me! I had a small meltdown in my car afterwards, but then I picked myself back up and moved on with my day (which included a surprise early homecoming from my husband who decided he should come home to be with me for the afternoon *swoon*)

I've had time to process the news now and am more comfortable with the likelihood that I'm going to be a little more fragile post-birth than I had originally planned. No doubt it will test my capacity (or lack thereof) to ask for help and will force me to be a little less independent! But now my main concern is whether I've been poking my baby in the eye all these weeks instead of giving her comforting rubs on the bum! No wonder she pokes and kicks me whenever I do that - she's probably asking me to take my finger out of her ear!