Quote of the day...

"... on that occasion she had felt great satisfaction deep down for the fact that [her son] gave her life a meaning far beyond any satisfaction she could derive from doctoral dissertations or archaeological digs. If there is a meaning in life it must be centred upon a person, she thought, nothing else. It had to be a person." (Henning Mankell: Kennedy's Brain)

Monday, March 28, 2011

Bums and heads...

As I look at the countdown timer on this page and see that I apparently have only 24 days left until I'm due (eeks!) I think I would be forgiven for starting to think about the actual labour and delivery that I'm going to be put through. I hadn't really thought much about the actual day before now but the past few weeks have seen me make some rather big changes in my plans, and now I've actually come full circle.

I started out wanting to have an elective c-section. I wasn't particularly afraid of labour or pain, but I didn't really want my baby's head coming out looking like a squashed watermelon and and was definitely not in favour of suction or forceps coming anywhere near such a delicate piece of human anatomy (mine or hers!) There are other more trivial, private reasons for my c-section preference which I will spare you from, but suffice to say I was pretty sure that's what I wanted. Then I started talking to people.

I realise when you're pregnant that everyone has an opinion and they don't seem to mind sharing it with you, regardless of whether you ask for it or not. But I was actually quite keen to hear from people about their thoughts on the matter of c-section versus natural birth. And boy did I hear some competing opinions! I received everything from earth-mother type advice that said natural birth is the most glorious, beautiful thing you'll ever go through to the extreme opposite still-traumatised new mother who said it was truly the most horrible thing she has ever experienced. So I talked to my midwife and she gave me the medical facts about how much harder it is to recover after a c-section and the limitations that tend to be in place following such a large surgical procedure. And I guess that's the point - even though it's something that is done many thousands of times each day, it is still surgery and it's quite invasive. There are a number of layers of muscle and tissue that need to be cut and post-operative recouperation can be difficult and requires you have someone around to help you, at least for the first few weeks.

So I was back to square one.

Eventually, after some thought and discussion with B, I decided to go the natural route. I didn't want to be inconvenienced by delayed recovery post-operatively and wanted to 'bounce back' as quickly as possible so that I didn't have to take energy away from the baby or have things be harder than they no doubt already will be. After attending our ante-natal classes and being given the lo-down on the pain relief that was available, I even became convinced that I wasn't going to have an epidural! Now that's progress. I didn't really want to be stuck in a bed for 12 hours after the birth with a catheter and no mobility. That just didn't sound like the 'easy' way of doing things.

But things changed today.

For the past few 6 weeks or so, B and I have been feeling the various lumps and bumps in my stomach and guessing at which body part is which. This has been helped along by the obstetrician who just last week patted the protruding lump towards the top of my uterus (i.e. just underneath my breasts) and said that was Sprout's bottom. He told me the head didn't feel like it had engaged at all and that they'll be keeping an eye on that because it might signal cause for c-section if it still hadn't engaged in a few weeks. But we continued along as normal, patting our baby on the 'bum' and watching her move around energetically (typically after I've had chocolate or a drink of Diet Coke!)

So you can imagine my surprise when the midwife today said "I don't think that's a bum". She started up the scanning equipment and sure enough, what we have affectionately been patting all this time was actually Sprout's head! She called the obstetrician in, who confirmed what he saw on the scan, and suddenly my situation was quite different to what it had been a few minutes earlier when I first walked in the room. Sprout was in complete breech position with her head very clearly sitting up under my breasts and her bottom down towards my cervix.

It is rare for bubs in first-time mums to completely turn around because the uterus lacks the flexibility of those that have 'been there before' so to speak. So both the midwife and the obstetrician felt it was pretty much impossible for me to expect Sprout to right herself in the coming weeks. There is an external manipulation they can perform to attempt to turn the baby, but it can be quite painful and has risks (e.g. cord prolapse) so it isn't really done that much apparently. This means it's almost definitely a c-section for me. I'm booked in for 19 April.

How strange to come full circle like this. Initially I WANTED the c-section, but I have to say my first thought when I was told it was almost definitely going to happen was "crap!" I really had gotten used to the idea of a natural birth and was very much in favour of the faster recovery time afterwards. I didn't realise just how scared of the c-section surgery I was until today when I booked in for it to actually happen to me! I had a small meltdown in my car afterwards, but then I picked myself back up and moved on with my day (which included a surprise early homecoming from my husband who decided he should come home to be with me for the afternoon *swoon*)

I've had time to process the news now and am more comfortable with the likelihood that I'm going to be a little more fragile post-birth than I had originally planned. No doubt it will test my capacity (or lack thereof) to ask for help and will force me to be a little less independent! But now my main concern is whether I've been poking my baby in the eye all these weeks instead of giving her comforting rubs on the bum! No wonder she pokes and kicks me whenever I do that - she's probably asking me to take my finger out of her ear!

Baby shower happenings...

The gang - except Mum, who was taking the photo
You know you're close to D-Day when the time comes for you to have your baby shower (if you're electing to go down that road). I hadn't originally wanted a baby shower - I didn't really see the point in them and I wasn't too keen on guilting my friends into buying me yet more gifts after many of the same people had already attended a bridal shower and wedding in the years preceding this event. But K was quite adamant that I have one and by the time I had finished my holiday in Tassie (i.e. staying with her), she had convinced me. So I asked my sister-in-law, T,  if she would be willing to organise the event, and thankfully she said yes. Thus, the weekend before last saw me attend my baby shower!

It was a lovely afternoon. T consulted with me about where to hold the event and I was determined the afternoon was going to be about us girls getting together for some laughs and good food and not about silly games and over-the-top gift-giving. We held the shower at 16th on Park, which has a delicious tapas menu and an equally delicious dessert menu! I decided that as it was my shower, I was allowed to have some tapas AND some dessert, and thankfully I wasn't the only one who made that decision ;-)

T took care of everything and abided by my wishes to not have any silly games. Instead she asked everyone to write advice or helpful sayings about motherhood on decorative paper and she was going to make a book for me with all the words of wisdom included.

I was very touched and just a little bit guilty that everyone wanted to give gifts. As a result we now have a lovely collection of gorgeous baby clothes and toys (and some nursing pyjamas for me from Mum!). T and my brother also put together a great hospital survival kit for me and B that comes complete with Junior Mints, Reeces Pieces and a giant Tootsie Roll. If you don't know what those things are then clearly you're not a member of our family! ;-)

Hippos were clearly a theme (gee, I wonder why?) and I was delighted to receive a number of hippo-related clothes or toys. I do wonder if this baby is going to like hippos as much as I do - another 'nature versus nurture' debate, I'm sure ;-) In any event, she will most certainly be surrounded by them in her early years so she'll either love them or hate them! Thankfully there wasn't much pink in attendance - you all no doubt know how I feel about that colour!! I think the best clothing item of the day was from M who found a purple tutu complete with black leggings underneath. I'm not particulary tutu-ish generally but M was able to see that I would appreciate the paradox of the leggings with the fru-fru look - I actually really love it.
Purple tutus with black leggings - not typically something I thought I would like!

We took some photos on the day - they clearly show that I'm pregnant! I was about 35 and 1/2 weeks pregnant in these shots and feeling every week of it! Jane took a great shot of me side on so that I can have a record of my belly - I don't really have many shots of me fully pregnant so it will make a good retaliatory photo for my daughter one day when she accuses me, out of spite, of adopting her!
A very pregnant me - not particularly flattering, but at least it's proof I was actually pregnant!

So with the shower now done, there is nothing left to do but wait for the impending arrival. I can't wait to dress this little creature in all the lovely clothes I received... including the purple tutu ;-)

Mother and daughter (times 2, when you think about it!)
Overwhelmed with everyone's generosity...
Unwrapping a hippo... of course!


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Seeing is believing...

I think I have passed some sort of turning point in this pregnancy. Not a physical one as such but more of a mental one. I believe I might actually be having to come to terms with the fact that I'm about to become... a mother! Aaahh, no, scratch that... actually I'm not quite ready to go that far. However, I have finally started to set up The Nursery, which is a pretty big step really. Up until now, The Nursery has actually just been "the spare room that the baby will be sleeping in". But on Monday, for some reason, I referred to that room as The Nursery and now it seems to be getting a little easier to roll off the tongue.

It's not that I haven't had stuff to go in The Nursery - I've had plenty of things ready to be taken out of their packaging and put to good use. But until now, everything we've bought has just ended up being dumped in 'the spare room' and the room hasn't really resembled anything nursery-ish. But that changed yesterday. During the week B finished painting the walls in The Nursery (I'm about to start the wardrobe doors as soon as I finish this post...). At that point, I had no more excuses and realised it was making me MORE anxious to NOT have it set up than it was to think about setting it up. Thus, aforementioned turning point reached.

So yesterday we went out and bought a few more of the things that were on my list that I felt were going to help me come to terms with this Nursery concept and then B went out fishing while I officially started... nesting... setting things up. Here is the semi-finished product.
 
 


This chest of drawers was purchased second hand and was originally a varnished pine. But I sanded it back and painted it white to be more suited to the room. I then set about trying to find some funky new drawer handles but had no luck so I decided to make them myself. What do you think?

Those of you who know me probably know two main things about me (a) I am infatuated with hippos and (b) I can't stand the colour pink and prefer purple. You can therefore imagine my confusion and distress when B pointed out a very soft and adorable cuddle blanket in the shops yesterday that was pink with a purple hippo on it. In the few seconds of confusion that temporarily overtook my decision-making capabilities, B seized the moment and officially picked up the blanket and added it to our shopping pile.

In this picture, you can see Lilly, Fat Boy, Hilda and the new blanket, set up on the cot waiting for a new friend to play with.

I have also recently discovered the joys of Lamaze toys - which seem to be a sort of educational baby toy that wriggles or rattles or crinkles. They're in bright colours and usually have about 3 or 4 features that are designed to keep baby occupied.

We also have the Rolls Royce of strollers that we purchased  on ebay - our Baby Jogger City Elite. One of the things that we wanted was a sheepskin to go in the stroller which we bought yesterday. It's not really big enough to use as a sheepskin for baby to have on the floor etc., but it's perfect for the stroller as it comes with pre-cut slots for the harness straps etc. So now our stroller looks far more welcoming and ready to receive its new passenger.



The final thing we have purchased isn't actually located in The Nursery - at the moment it's in our spare room, and by that I mean the actual spare room, not the-room-that-will-one-day-become-the-nursery-but-for-now-it's-less-threatening-to-call-it-the-spare-room.

 What I'm referring to is the bassinet - also purchased off ebay. Eventually this will live in our bedroom but for the time being, it lives in the room that Mum uses when she and Dad come to stay. So there you are Mum - you can fall asleep with a visual reminder that you're about to become a Granma ;-)









And one last picture to show you. This blog post is called "Seeing is believing" and I've called it that because I think that seeing the semi-finished nursery has helped me really start to believe what is about to happen to B and me (I know, the constant kicks and pokes I get from within also help, but I'm talking emotionally more than physically). In any event, this afternoon I decided to wash all the lovely baby clothes that friends had donated or that I had purchased over the past few weeks. Talk about seeing is believing...