The weekend from hell...

This weekend has not been kind to us. Charlotte had her 2 month immunisation shots on Friday afternoon and she coped with the injections so well we were lulled into a false sense of security, believing all would be well. Turns out, these things can take a while to fester!

B was out all day Saturday helping a friend move house and I should have known something wasn't right when Charlotte didn't go back to sleep after her early morning feed. She progressively got grumpier and grumpier throughout the day, barely sleeping for more than 2-3 minutes at a go, until she was completely over-wraught by dinner time. B came home for a short while before going out fishing most of the night (I've learned my lesson - don't let your husband be gone all day when your daughter is in a mood!! LOL) Anyway, by the time B came home I was beside myself - I'd called my Mum and called my best friend and had no idea how to soothe her. I'd taken her for a walk and rocked her in the pram; I'd put her in the swing; I'd worn her in the sling; I'd fed her; I'd burped her; I'd changed her nappy. I simply could not stop her from screaming. It was the most horrible experience I think I've had as a parent - feeling completely helpless and watching someone so young and defenseless experience so much distress.

When B came home we jumped in the car and took Charlotte for a drive. I hadn't had time to eat anything all day (or even feed the dog!) so we went to McDonalds for a quick fix and then took off for an hour or so driving around near the water, hoping the driving would soothe Charlotte. Thankfully it did! By the time we got home, around 11pm, my eyelids were barely open and Charlotte's were well and truly closed. We transferred her from the car capsule to the cot and she slept soundly for the rest of the night. In fact, she didn't wake up again until 5.30am! All these weeks I've been praying she'd sleep through her 2am feed and when she finally does, it's at the expense of my sanity... be careful what you wish for!

This morning she's still a bit crotchety but definitely more settled than yesterday. I think part of her problem is actually related to bloating and not being able to manage her formula properly. She seems to get very uncomfortable after a feed and doesn't pass wind/bowel movements easily. So this on top of the general aches and pains from the immunisations, we were bound for problems. I've started putting some Coloxyl drops in her bottle now to try and clear up any 'blockages' she might have and get things moving again. She doesn't actually seem constipated, but there is definitely something not quite right with her insides. Here's hoping we finish the weekend on a better note!

(After writing this post we went out to dinner at Sizzler and Charlotte slept through the whole thing! We're planning a late night hot bath and feed around 10.30pm and hopefully she'll be so buggered after the weekend that she'll sleep right through!)

Introducing... Charlotte Maudie Hazelwood

I can't believe how long it has been since my last blog post, although in my defence quite a lot has happened since then! Charlotte Maudie Hazelwood entered the world by c-section at 8.35am on Tuesday, 19 April, weighing a rather healthy 3870g and measuring 52cm in length. That was 8 weeks ago now and this is the first chance I've had to sit and write about it!

I am clearly not going to be able to recap on the past 2 months in a single blog post so I won't even try but over the coming days I hope to catch people up on my experiences since the birth and in the future I plan to use this blog as a weekly record of Charlotte's development. It will be a good way for me to record when milestones are achieved and the ups and downs of parenthood as we go through it all!

Bums and heads...

As I look at the countdown timer on this page and see that I apparently have only 24 days left until I'm due (eeks!) I think I would be forgiven for starting to think about the actual labour and delivery that I'm going to be put through. I hadn't really thought much about the actual day before now but the past few weeks have seen me make some rather big changes in my plans, and now I've actually come full circle.

I started out wanting to have an elective c-section. I wasn't particularly afraid of labour or pain, but I didn't really want my baby's head coming out looking like a squashed watermelon and and was definitely not in favour of suction or forceps coming anywhere near such a delicate piece of human anatomy (mine or hers!) There are other more trivial, private reasons for my c-section preference which I will spare you from, but suffice to say I was pretty sure that's what I wanted. Then I started talking to people.

I realise when you're pregnant that everyone has an opinion and they don't seem to mind sharing it with you, regardless of whether you ask for it or not. But I was actually quite keen to hear from people about their thoughts on the matter of c-section versus natural birth. And boy did I hear some competing opinions! I received everything from earth-mother type advice that said natural birth is the most glorious, beautiful thing you'll ever go through to the extreme opposite still-traumatised new mother who said it was truly the most horrible thing she has ever experienced. So I talked to my midwife and she gave me the medical facts about how much harder it is to recover after a c-section and the limitations that tend to be in place following such a large surgical procedure. And I guess that's the point - even though it's something that is done many thousands of times each day, it is still surgery and it's quite invasive. There are a number of layers of muscle and tissue that need to be cut and post-operative recouperation can be difficult and requires you have someone around to help you, at least for the first few weeks.

So I was back to square one.

Eventually, after some thought and discussion with B, I decided to go the natural route. I didn't want to be inconvenienced by delayed recovery post-operatively and wanted to 'bounce back' as quickly as possible so that I didn't have to take energy away from the baby or have things be harder than they no doubt already will be. After attending our ante-natal classes and being given the lo-down on the pain relief that was available, I even became convinced that I wasn't going to have an epidural! Now that's progress. I didn't really want to be stuck in a bed for 12 hours after the birth with a catheter and no mobility. That just didn't sound like the 'easy' way of doing things.

But things changed today.

For the past few 6 weeks or so, B and I have been feeling the various lumps and bumps in my stomach and guessing at which body part is which. This has been helped along by the obstetrician who just last week patted the protruding lump towards the top of my uterus (i.e. just underneath my breasts) and said that was Sprout's bottom. He told me the head didn't feel like it had engaged at all and that they'll be keeping an eye on that because it might signal cause for c-section if it still hadn't engaged in a few weeks. But we continued along as normal, patting our baby on the 'bum' and watching her move around energetically (typically after I've had chocolate or a drink of Diet Coke!)

So you can imagine my surprise when the midwife today said "I don't think that's a bum". She started up the scanning equipment and sure enough, what we have affectionately been patting all this time was actually Sprout's head! She called the obstetrician in, who confirmed what he saw on the scan, and suddenly my situation was quite different to what it had been a few minutes earlier when I first walked in the room. Sprout was in complete breech position with her head very clearly sitting up under my breasts and her bottom down towards my cervix.

It is rare for bubs in first-time mums to completely turn around because the uterus lacks the flexibility of those that have 'been there before' so to speak. So both the midwife and the obstetrician felt it was pretty much impossible for me to expect Sprout to right herself in the coming weeks. There is an external manipulation they can perform to attempt to turn the baby, but it can be quite painful and has risks (e.g. cord prolapse) so it isn't really done that much apparently. This means it's almost definitely a c-section for me. I'm booked in for 19 April.

How strange to come full circle like this. Initially I WANTED the c-section, but I have to say my first thought when I was told it was almost definitely going to happen was "crap!" I really had gotten used to the idea of a natural birth and was very much in favour of the faster recovery time afterwards. I didn't realise just how scared of the c-section surgery I was until today when I booked in for it to actually happen to me! I had a small meltdown in my car afterwards, but then I picked myself back up and moved on with my day (which included a surprise early homecoming from my husband who decided he should come home to be with me for the afternoon *swoon*)

I've had time to process the news now and am more comfortable with the likelihood that I'm going to be a little more fragile post-birth than I had originally planned. No doubt it will test my capacity (or lack thereof) to ask for help and will force me to be a little less independent! But now my main concern is whether I've been poking my baby in the eye all these weeks instead of giving her comforting rubs on the bum! No wonder she pokes and kicks me whenever I do that - she's probably asking me to take my finger out of her ear!

Baby shower happenings...

The gang - except Mum, who was taking the photo

You know you're close to D-Day when the time comes for you to have your baby shower (if you're electing to go down that road). I hadn't originally wanted a baby shower - I didn't really see the point in them and I wasn't too keen on guilting my friends into buying me yet more gifts after many of the same people had already attended a bridal shower and wedding in the years preceding this event. But K was quite adamant that I have one and by the time I had finished my holiday in Tassie (i.e. staying with her), she had convinced me. So I asked my sister-in-law, T,  if she would be willing to organise the event, and thankfully she said yes. Thus, the weekend before last saw me attend my baby shower!

It was a lovely afternoon. T consulted with me about where to hold the event and I was determined the afternoon was going to be about us girls getting together for some laughs and good food and not about silly games and over-the-top gift-giving. We held the shower at 16th on Park, which has a delicious tapas menu and an equally delicious dessert menu! I decided that as it was my shower, I was allowed to have some tapas AND some dessert, and thankfully I wasn't the only one who made that decision ;-)

T took care of everything and abided by my wishes to not have any silly games. Instead she asked everyone to write advice or helpful sayings about motherhood on decorative paper and she was going to make a book for me with all the words of wisdom included.

I was very touched and just a little bit guilty that everyone wanted to give gifts. As a result we now have a lovely collection of gorgeous baby clothes and toys (and some nursing pyjamas for me from Mum!). T and my brother also put together a great hospital survival kit for me and B that comes complete with Junior Mints, Reeces Pieces and a giant Tootsie Roll. If you don't know what those things are then clearly you're not a member of our family! ;-)

Hippos were clearly a theme (gee, I wonder why?) and I was delighted to receive a number of hippo-related clothes or toys. I do wonder if this baby is going to like hippos as much as I do - another 'nature versus nurture' debate, I'm sure ;-) In any event, she will most certainly be surrounded by them in her early years so she'll either love them or hate them! Thankfully there wasn't much pink in attendance - you all no doubt know how I feel about that colour!! I think the best clothing item of the day was from M who found a purple tutu complete with black leggings underneath. I'm not particulary tutu-ish generally but M was able to see that I would appreciate the paradox of the leggings with the fru-fru look - I actually really love it.

Purple tutus with black leggings - not typically something I thought I would like!

We took some photos on the day - they clearly show that I'm pregnant! I was about 35 and 1/2 weeks pregnant in these shots and feeling every week of it! Jane took a great shot of me side on so that I can have a record of my belly - I don't really have many shots of me fully pregnant so it will make a good retaliatory photo for my daughter one day when she accuses me, out of spite, of adopting her!

A very pregnant me - not particularly flattering, but at least it's proof I was actually pregnant!

So with the shower now done, there is nothing left to do but wait for the impending arrival. I can't wait to dress this little creature in all the lovely clothes I received... including the purple tutu ;-)

Mother and daughter (times 2, when you think about it!)

Overwhelmed with everyone's generosity...

Unwrapping a hippo... of course!

Seeing is believing...

I think I have passed some sort of turning point in this pregnancy. Not a physical one as such but more of a mental one. I believe I might actually be having to come to terms with the fact that I'm about to become... a mother! Aaahh, no, scratch that... actually I'm not quite ready to go that far. However, I have finally started to set up The Nursery, which is a pretty big step really. Up until now, The Nursery has actually just been "the spare room that the baby will be sleeping in". But on Monday, for some reason, I referred to that room as The Nursery and now it seems to be getting a little easier to roll off the tongue.

It's not that I haven't had stuff to go in The Nursery - I've had plenty of things ready to be taken out of their packaging and put to good use. But until now, everything we've bought has just ended up being dumped in 'the spare room' and the room hasn't really resembled anything nursery-ish. But that changed yesterday. During the week B finished painting the walls in The Nursery (I'm about to start the wardrobe doors as soon as I finish this post...). At that point, I had no more excuses and realised it was making me MORE anxious to NOT have it set up than it was to think about setting it up. Thus, aforementioned turning point reached.

So yesterday we went out and bought a few more of the things that were on my list that I felt were going to help me come to terms with this Nursery concept and then B went out fishing while I officially started... nesting... setting things up. Here is the semi-finished product.

 

 

This chest of drawers was purchased second hand and was originally a varnished pine. But I sanded it back and painted it white to be more suited to the room. I then set about trying to find some funky new drawer handles but had no luck so I decided to make them myself. What do you think?

Those of you who know me probably know two main things about me (a) I am infatuated with hippos and (b) I can't stand the colour pink and prefer purple. You can therefore imagine my confusion and distress when B pointed out a very soft and adorable cuddle blanket in the shops yesterday that was pink with a purple hippo on it. In the few seconds of confusion that temporarily overtook my decision-making capabilities, B seized the moment and officially picked up the blanket and added it to our shopping pile.

In this picture, you can see Lilly, Fat Boy, Hilda and the new blanket, set up on the cot waiting for a new friend to play with.

I have also recently discovered the joys of Lamaze toys - which seem to be a sort of educational baby toy that wriggles or rattles or crinkles. They're in bright colours and usually have about 3 or 4 features that are designed to keep baby occupied.

We also have the Rolls Royce of strollers that we purchased  on ebay - our Baby Jogger City Elite. One of the things that we wanted was a sheepskin to go in the stroller which we bought yesterday. It's not really big enough to use as a sheepskin for baby to have on the floor etc., but it's perfect for the stroller as it comes with pre-cut slots for the harness straps etc. So now our stroller looks far more welcoming and ready to receive its new passenger.

The final thing we have purchased isn't actually located in The Nursery - at the moment it's in our spare room, and by that I mean the actual spare room, not the-room-that-will-one-day-become-the-nursery-but-for-now-it's-less-threatening-to-call-it-the-spare-room.

 What I'm referring to is the bassinet - also purchased off ebay. Eventually this will live in our bedroom but for the time being, it lives in the room that Mum uses when she and Dad come to stay. So there you are Mum - you can fall asleep with a visual reminder that you're about to become a Granma ;-)









And one last picture to show you. This blog post is called "Seeing is believing" and I've called it that because I think that seeing the semi-finished nursery has helped me really start to believe what is about to happen to B and me (I know, the constant kicks and pokes I get from within also help, but I'm talking emotionally more than physically). In any event, this afternoon I decided to wash all the lovely baby clothes that friends had donated or that I had purchased over the past few weeks. Talk about seeing is believing...

Good fluids and bad fluids...

There's no doubting the fact any longer... I am officially pregnant. I know, I know - I've actually been officially pregnant for some time. But to me, the hallmark of a 'pregnant woman' is fluid build up, and boy have I got that box ticked. In spades.

For example, until this point in life, I've always been rather pleased with my feet - they were the one part of my body that I couldn't really find any fault with. They were thin, on the small size, and with the right sized toe-to-foot ratio (if there is such a thing!).

Now I have hobbit feet.

Ok, so my feet aren't quite as hairy as a hobbit's, but there is clearly nothing human about these feet. They are fat, bloated and look unbalanced - the toes look way too small for the lumpy and blown up feet attached to them.

Bloated, swollen feet :-(

I should be thankful they don't yet hurt, although I'm told that may happen. But they do tingle and feel mildly uncomfortable - kind of like when you recover from an attack of pins and needles. And I only have one pair of shoes that fit me comfortably... and I can't walk around in thongs all the time!

My fingers are also swollen, although not to the same extent as my feet. I can no longer wear my wedding or engagement rings, which depresses me as I had hoped I wouldn't get to that stage. But when the skin underneath my rings started to flake away due to the stress of having the rings rub up against it... well, even I'm not THAT stubborn.

So, I'm having to face the harsh truth and come to terms with the fact that I'm a swollen and bloated pregnant woman. The next person who tells me pregnancy is a beautiful, moving experience to be savoured can come to my house and give me foot massages until their skin is rubbed raw - why should I be the only one to suffer?

But I called this post good AND bad fluids, so I guess I should talk about something a little more positive as well. Today B and I (and Mum and Dad) were able to see the work of all the good fluids that are currently circulating around my swollen, bloated pregnant body. That is, we had another scan :-) (the scan machine relies on fluid in the womb/gestational sac to give you a clear picture; the less fluid, the harder it is to get a good photo).

Oh boy - have things changed over the past 10 weeks! Our last scan, at 19 weeks, showed a much different picture to this one. This time, Sprout has grown and now weighs an estimated 3 pounds and 6 ounces. They couldn't give me a length, but she's on par with other sprouts her age according to the measurements. Her face is much more well-formed and even though the umbilical cord was in the way of a clear facial shot, you can certainly see her features...

These photos still look a little alien-like because of the way the ultrasound creates the image, but you can definitely see a little baby face there. Eyes closed (how freaky would it be if they were open!! - that can happen apparently). We saw little tiny feet pressing up against the outside of the womb and the sonographer felt her kick out to show her displeasure at having her slumber interrupted. It was way cool :-)

Even better was the fact that we received the news that my placenta was no longer low-lying. So this means I don't have to fear weeks of bed rest and an involuntary c-section under somewhat scary circumstances (i.e. the threat of placenta previa). At 19 weeks it was less than 1cm away from the opening of my cervix apparently but now it's well and truly high and not likely to cause any problems *sigh of relief*

So now we can get on with preparing for Sprout's arrival. The cot has arrived, the change table has been purchased and should be delivered in the next few days, and we're slowly amassing more hippopotamus toys ;-) There's still a LOT left to do, but Mum has come down to help me plough through the long list and hopefully the next post I put up will have me rejoicing the fact that the nursery is starting to take shape.

For now, I shall continue to mourn my lost feet and find creative ways to encourage my husband to massage them... ;-)

Time to think nursery furniture...

There's no more ignoring the fact that it's time to start thinking about the nursery. I've put it off long enough and now I think I have the ego strength to cope with the stress of this undertaking! But boy oh boy, is there a lot to think about!

First up - the cot. Thankfully a colleague from work is giving me her old cot. Her children are well and truly grown now, so I know it won't be in pristine condition, but she's happy for me to do with it whatever I like, so I'm thinking a quick sand and a slosh of white paint and it will be as good as new. Apparently it's an American cot, purchased while they were living over there, which means it is larger than the standard cots here in Australia. I've seen an old photo of it and it seems quite nice - will post photos when it's set up. We collect the cot with mattress and one set of sheets this weekend so that's one thing to cross off the list.

Next up is a bassinet. We plan to have bub sleep in our room in a bassinet at night but in her cot during the day (until she outgrows the bassinet, then it's full-time cot). I'm quite taken with this style of bassinet... I think it's really pretty - soft and delicate. And I like the skirt going all the way to the ground. I'm counting on Mum to make me some sheets (for both cot and bassinet) and a skirt if I need one... hint, hint! I'm also keeping my eye on ebay to see if anything I like comes up, but in fact there are a few sales around at the moment and I found something at Target that actually isn't that expensive, so we might just end up buying the bassinet new.

So, that's the sleeping arrangements taken care of (forgetting the endless supply of sheets, the lambswool sheepskin, musical mobiles, nightlights, and blankets/swaddle cloths...). Next up comes transport, specifically car seats/capsules. After seeking advice from people who are far more knowledgeable than I when it comes to things like this, we've pretty much decided to start off with a rented capsule from Queensland Ambulance, something like the picture I've included here.

Now doesn't that just look like it would be incredibly comfortable? (although I suspect the rental ones won't be quite as good looking as this one). Rental is a good option because it's only about $70 for 6 months and you can then move from the capsule into a car seat at 6 months that will probaby last the baby for the next 5-6 years. The other advantage of capsules is that you don't have to wake the baby up to take her in and out of the car, which sounds like a good thing to me! You can get additional bases for the capsules so that I can easily swap the capsule from my car to Brandon's - my understanding is that the capsule disconnects from of a base unit that stays behind in the car. Nice and easy (yeah, famous last words, eh?)

Apparently one also needs to consider where you're going to change baby's nappies - quite an important consideration really when you consider the potential impact of NOT considering nappy changes! LOL I'm quite keen on white furniture to keep the lines clean and neutral, so I'm thinking a white 3-tier change table is the way to go. I have learnt (over the past 48 hours) that Boori furniture is very good, albeit very expensive. Another thing to add to my ebay watch list ;-)

When you have as much distance between your nursery and your main living area as we do (over 20 metres) a baby monitor is also a good idea (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about?) We are particularly fond of the Angelcare Sound and Motion monitor because it senses sound and movement (breathing). Our friends have this monitor and swear it's great.

We also need a white chest of drawers for all of the clothes that our little girl will no doubt end up with, as well as a porta-cot for later when we start to take her out and want to have somewhere for her to sleep in the evening (when she's too big for the capsule). And no doubt there will be countless other things we'll need to think about - clothes, diapers, pacifiers, blankets, a high chair, a swing or bouncer, bottles... the list is endless!

Thankfully I have had my phobias about walking down the baby aisle in the supermarket part-way cured as a result of a recent visit with my best friend, K. As a parent herself, I knew if there was anyone who could help cure me of my anxieties, it was her. So off I flew to sunny Tasmania (literally) and within a week I was armed with all the information I could possibly need about nappy rash, nursing pads and breast pumps (that's a whole separate blog entry!)

For now, I'm content with looking online and slowly arming myself with more information. But I can't wait much longer - I only have 11 weeks until I'm due (crikey!) and that's assuming I go full term. I really want to get things set up sooner rather than later so that I'm not panicking closer to the day. So I guess I'm going to have to actually buy something in the next few days... once I make the first purchase, I'm sure the rest will follow without too much pain... and let's not even get on to the topic of nursery decor - I've only just finished renovating the kitchen and I'm already tired thinking I might end up wanting to paint a whole other room!